*groans* i just lost all that I typed... but I shall try to salvage what I can from my rather faulty memory. Raawwwrrr!

Just now, my dad was watching something (I'm assuming some kind of asian drama) in 2x mode, stating that it was a much more efficient way of getting through movies and such. Hahaha, oh daddy <3.

There is one more week of break. =(. And that is all I will say on the matter since anymore would revert to the usual depressing rambling about unpleasant things.

Earlier today, I went with my parents to Cincinnati Mills to watch "August Rush." Duuude, that mall has gone through some massive renovations (didn't it used to be called Forest Park something?); compared to Kenwood Towne Centre (since that's the one I've been to the most -- although that's not saying much), it's bursting with color. In fact, it almost makes me want to go wander around the malls again... (oO Did I really just type that?).

Oh, and while we were hurrying to the movie theatre, I saw my 8th grade math teacher in one of the waiting areas wandering around with (I'm guessing) his son. At first I didn't really recognise him because the child had somewhat brown hair (his mother is Caucasian, if I'm not mistaken), so it was like *blinks and turns around* "Was that really Mr. Tanaka? That looks awfully like him." The sad part is that I didn't stop to say hi since we were hurrying, and I feel like it would have felt somewhat awkward if I randomly walked up to him in some mall and exclaimed, "Heeey, remember me? And my group of friends who would pass notes around?" with my parents and without my friends.

Annnnd, as for the movie itself -- I quite liked it; I wouldn't say that it's on my "all-time fav" list since some of it seemed just too coincidental, but it's definitely higher up than (the very few) several other movies that I've watched such as... well, I won't say. Or perhaps, I liked it more because it pertained to music so much (after all, the story is about a child trying to find his parents - and vice versa - through (his) music(al talent)). The sad part is that I somewhat ruined the experience for myself because I kept looking to see if the actors' fingers matched up with the music... and they didn't many times (especially for the piano, organ, and cello -- the guitar not so much because, quite unfortunately, yours truly does not know much about guitar-playing).

Mmm, August Rush says, "I believe in music the way some people believe in fairytales." That makes me wonder... do people believe in fairytales? (do I? oO). Aka it sounds like such a lovely quote, but I'm not quite sure what to make of it.

On a completely random note, I now have two stuffed plushie Eeyores: one's fairly big and one's incredibly spherical. Hehe.

Oh, and another thing (because I'm in a rather random mood): my dad just mentioned that we're going out tomorrow morning to eat 豆漿油條, which suddenly reminded me of some really random but rather cute song of the same phrase.

Although a bit late,

Merry Christmas to all. =)

It's such a strange feeling to think that Christmas is less than a day away. After all, there is no snow on the ground; the sky with its stormy clouds hurrying by while the sunlight streams through the study window give the complete impression of a typical England late summer day (the only thing that betrays the picture is the presence of bare treetops evident from the view here); and perhaps, most of all, there is a general lack of Christmas decoration around the house — as usual and rather typical of us "oh, we just have to put it away a few days later anyway."

I just noticed that my last entry started in a similar fashion, "It's [something relating to the world feels/feeling] [a synonym for "doesn't feel normal"].

One thing that's really cool and hasn't happened since mid-July: my family's all back in one place again! — for the next three days at least. (And then, one by one, we'll drift back to our respective places — brother first, then dad, then me, then mum, but let's not focus on that right now.) It's amazing what a difference the presence or absence of family members makes; having the entire family around is a nice feeling. =)

So, hm... an update for the second half of the quarter. One thing I definitely learned: I am absolutely terrible at updating and even worse at finishing those updates. I even have a record of days when I started but never finished: 11/14, 11/23, 12/1, 12/3, 12/4, 12/8... I always promise myself that I will update. I begin pattering away at the keyboard while my mind attempts to remember all that has passed. Unfortunately, I have no idea what to write by the second or third line because of the simple fact that too much has happened since the last entry. What makes it worse is that even more happens while I stall; hm, what a predictable predicament.

To sum up the entire quarter — especially the later weeks, I went through many stretches of being sick of everything — studying, working, eating, moving, thinking (in general / especially). It was as if my brain has already reached its capacitance and is now slowly discharging; or perhaps it is just faulty and sometimes refuses to whir. Perhaps a big factor was my crazy lifestyle that involved going to bed when the birds would awake and then clambering out of bed for an 8 o'clock. I feel like that really drained a lot of my energy (for which there never really was a big reservoir to begin with) and made it much more difficult to retain the (more) "hopeful and optimistic" outlook that I strove to keep at the beginning of the quarter. All I knew is that with each passing week, life became more difficult and monotonous: nothing really interested me anymore, and life was lived out in terms of living until the next day (or perhaps, the next nap — these became so frequent (compared to real sleep, I guess?) that I even developed a preference for sleeping on top of the covers with a hoodie + fleece blanket instead of using my lovely comforter to its full potential =\) — not in the "wait, I'm not dead yet?" suicidal sense, but more so the "goodness, I'm tired; and yet, it's all going to repeat within the next week for sure — if not, the next day."

However, there were still fleeting moments of happiness and complete "forget you, academics" — little breaks to remind me that there is (thankfully) at least more to life than just textbooks and problems sets. Leaping and hopping alongside an adventurous friend from one big block of concrete — or rock, if one prefers to call them that — to another during a sunny yet slightly blustery November afternoon (fyi, we started from up north behind Frances Searle / SPAC and then working the way down to the lower Lakefill area); and again, visiting the rocks again a few days later — this time, by night (and much more chilly) — and soaking in the sight of the faraway Chicago glow and the sounds of the unceasing waves. Preparing Thanksgiving dinners (for sg and for HMCC) and, thereby, escaping the school environment (and given the keys to a car =D — at least for the sg one) for a few hours / an afternoon. Witnessing the first snowfall (which happened to correlate to the first day of December — though technically, it did barely-flurry one time in mid-November as we were returning from a discipleship class at night), and then enjoying even more snow (and much more unblemished/unsullied by snowplows and slush) a few days later in the quiet peacefulness of the lake / Lakefill surroundings. Mmm, I think I've reaffirmed my love for nature <3. (Oh, and a side note: I finally got to show someone the (very faint) light that's generated from static electricity. Hehe =D... -imagines the general population rolling their eyes and saying, "honestly, you dork. ><"- ... =\ ).

Wow... my brother just exclaimed, "Hey, tetris on my facebook."

Soooo, I finally decided to do a somewhat Christmas/holiday-ish theme. And to make up for the lack of one last year (okay, or perhaps to amuse myself), I made two versions and a JavaScript program to go along so that each one will display during certain times of the day =D...

Christmas Eve! The day before a little bit of heaven descends to earth in the most humble manner. =)

It feels rather weird being back home, where my fingers and toes are constantly cold (I think I definitely took the warmth of the dorms for granted =X), where I can't really find anything because they're all (still) stored away (or I've forgotten them in Evanston), where everything's just... very quiet, calm, and almost empty. Nevertheless, the emptiness is slowly becoming cluttered with my belongings as I begin to turn home into a home again after an absence of a mere three months. Much earlier today, I was flipping through my closet and drawers under the bed and just seeing certain things made me wonder, "Has it really been only three months since I last contemplated whether to take this or not?" At the same time, it seems like such a short time for so much to happen since I last left Cinci. But, (not to purposely infuriate the reader at the continued lack of updates) I'll save those so-much-has-happened things for a later entry (hopefully not too much later =X).

As for things that have happened recently (a.k.a. since I got home after the 5.5 hour drive from Evanston to Cinci yesterday night), I've marveled at the prettiness of Blue Ash decked out ready for the Christmas holiday: trees no longer bare, but draped (more like frosted) in white + silvery-white (those are so, so beautiful) lights; evergreens with little strings of lights tucked in between branches; Christmas wreaths stuck on the back of traffic lights at every intersection (at least on Kenwood Rd), and little flags (though those were hidden by the darkness at first glance) on each streetlight accompanied by yet more wreaths; raided my brother's wardrobe for pj pants (because, sadly, all of mine were in the wash) and found two pairs; snooped around my own closet and found two massive stuffed animals (Palladium & Eeyore) to keep me company in my cold room during sleep; gone shopping with my mother this morning even though the roads were rather slushy and the sky full of big, fat snowflakes; and — skipping the more mundane events such as refilling the printer ink and other computer-related things — managed to spend at least 3 hours in front of the piano (sad to say, though, my hands were just as cold as when I began; at least they were less stiff by the end).

You know, I don't think any of my Cinci friends know that I've been back for 24+ hours now. Well, I suppose they shall found out soon enough. Mmhmm.

It snowed!. Well, more like it dripping-kind-of-drizzle flurrying.

I think my mind still hasn't grasped the fact that it's November already. It was just yesterday when I was thinking to myself, "Goodness, it's October, which means Halloween and lots of candy at the end of the month." ... But then, Halloween's way past, the candy's been eaten, and a fifth of November has passed already. Crazy how time flies when you live to survive until the next day, which happens rather often when midterms and such are on the brink. But! We shall not speak of such evils.

In other news, I was shown a typing test today, and now I can't help but notice how I type everytime I begin to reach for any keys. What I have realised is that I still type somewhat improperly with respect to using pinkies: in other words, I don't use my pinky if it's not on the home row. I think. I can't really test it out because I haven't had any words with z's. Actually, I think I use the pinky for z's but definitely not for p's. I also only use my right thumb to press the spacebar and the left pinky to press the Shift. And for the amusement of the reader, yours truly can apparently type up to 555 keys/min, corresponding to ~111 words/min. That's kind of strange because I remember the highest I could go back in 9th grade (really bad grammar right there) was around 80 words/min (but maybe they defined a word as 6-7 letters instead of 5?). But then again, I'm sure IM-ing and doing other various things on the computer have improved my ability to randomly tap out words every so often.

[[Note]] Long (+1000 words) and rather long-winded rambling entry ahead.

Wow, this was from 10.01.07 [-- meant to become an update but never did -- "Oh my, it feels as if it's been ages since I last updated - which, actually isn't true on the inside, but is on the outside. Why? Because Freewebs does not have an auto-save thing, so everytime I begin an entry and leave it to be finished later (which has probably already happened 2 or 3 times) ... it eventually disappears since I forget to comment out & save. But all is well, because what I would have written a week ago would probably sound out of place if I kept saving & coming back."

How true. The only problem with that is... now that it has been over a month since I really last updated... there really is too much to talk about. So many things have happened within the last month and a half, both good and bad; but, overall, I feel as if this year is different (I have way too many journals/blogs, so I'm wondering whether this is a repeat of something I may have said earlier: forgive me if it is) -- different in a good way.

To be honest, I really wasn't looking forward to coming back to NU because of all the stressful, depressing academics and everything associated with it. I was dreading the nights when I'd stay up until the wee hours of the morning doing problem sets in the dark while my roomie peacefully slept just 6 ft behind me. ... But you know what? Something in me resolved to have a better year this year: I would be more optimistic, more loving, more patient, more tolerant towards others. It was as if something inside me determined to keep (not dig) myself out of the depths of despair and depression that hit so easily with stress and school.

I wouldn't say that I've stuck to it 100% because I definitely still have my moments of mopeyness despair and depression (which usually hit around the same time as midterms), but overall... I have the impression that I am more cheerful these days (which many people have informed me as well when they remind me how sour and unhappy I looked last year. oops =X).

Actually, in all honesty, I would say that this transformation hasn't so much as me trying to change myself as God changing me and gently prodding me through others. but goooodness, it's crazy how much of a transformation there's been - and all from the self-determination to really shift the focus of my life from academics to spiritual matters / God. Mmm, I think just that really helped my outlook on life: I start to see so many connections between the things I read about and daily life; I really begin to see all the things with which I have been blessed and start to appreciate everything in life more.

That being said, I really need to say a billion and some more thanks to all my friends - both past and present, who have had to endure a rather unpleasant stacy. I really have no idea how they've been able to stand being my friend all these years, but suffice it to say... I totally would not be friends with myself. Nevertheless, I really owe a lot to them for putting up with me through thick and thin, silliness and seriousness, strangeness and blandness, just everything. And the fact that they do so much to try and make me smile or laugh. Mmm, that's some dedication right there because... it is quite a feat, I think. And for that, I commend them all. =)

Okay! Enough with silly things and such. Now for updates: We celebrated 中秋節 near the end of September by going out to the beach and looking at the moon; that was rather amusing. We also went to see the sunrise across Lake Michigan - quite pretty I would say, and a nice time for reflections and ponderings; and mischief. I am now decent at frying things, and making things such as nian gao or some korean thing that involves zucchinis, flour, beaten eggs, and frying -- I would call them fried zucchini slices or something in my non-korean-ness. I like the challenge of trying to coat things with something liquid-y before dropping it onto the frying pan with a satisfactory sizzle; and then frying it until it's golden brown, oh yuuummm... I'm making myself hungry just thinking about it. Let us see. I've also collected a lot of pretty leaves and dried them ... except I don't think I dried them for long enough because many of them are starting to curl at the tips.I got to help out with worship-piano-playing! for a coffeehouse act (however small my part was); it made me rather happy: I really do miss helping out at church - which is why I kind of want to join the ministry team at HMCC ... but then again, I'm slightly afraid that I won't be prepared for it in terms of willingness, sacrifice, and who knows what else. Speaking of HMCC, I went to the Undergrad Retreat, and, wow... for the amount of time that it was versus the amount I got out of it -- really, really nice; I would say it's one of the best retreats I've been to thus far because everything just seemed to be so applicable and ... just relevant. I also got to do my devotions by the lake there; it was quite a lovely experience.

My goodness, this is quite a massive update ... one that took almost an hour an a half to do (while doing other things at the same time, but still), so hopefully it makes up for the lack of any for the past age.

<3 (plain!) cheerios.

"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy[...]" - 1 Peter 1:8. If only life could always be as cheerful as it is in the presence of a loving community on a Friday night.

Today (or rather, yesterday now...) was a lovely day, in terms of weather and life.

Joy is a lovely thing to experience - even if it is just the smallest taste or glimpse of it ... it is truly something that fills one's soul with inexplicable feelings of hope and... cheerfulness, optimism, everything good. Mmmm. =)

(One of these days, I will have a real entry. Hopefully that day will be very soon.)

*long sigh* You know, time flies when you don't want it to. I shall miss Newcastle, England, Europe...

Haha, apparently my dad was pulled aside during security because they didn't understand why there were so many thin stick thingies in his luggage. It turned out to be packs of Chinese noodle.

I had a rather irritating bout of unsleepiness yesterday night. It made me... well, very irritated. I sometimes wish you could save certain periods of time and then use them later. In that case, I would be able to take all the sleep time I've had this past month (which usually ranged from 5 to 10 hours), store it in a _______ (how would you store time as it is quite intangible?), and then slowly pluck out a bit for every night I have to stay up doing problem sets and who-knows-what. Said another way, I wish I could control time... but then the world would become a disaster most likely; so, we'll just leave it to the One who knows best, mmm.

I find it slightly strange that I have managed to mysteriously lose pretty much all the weight I gained over the past year at college (which came closer to a "freshman five" than a "fifteen") in the space of ... less than a few weeks ? I swear I've been eating the same -- actually, no, I've been eating my mum's cooking / Chinese food 24/7 (minus those few times when my parents made me try the German sausages X(... or when we ate fast food) So the verdict? ... net gain: 0. *shrug*

Tomorrow is my last full day in England =(.

According to Google, it is currently 10 C in Newcastle. Today's weather involved cloudiness, rain, sunshine, and lots of wind. I'm really going to miss the petulant weather. And the fact that it's perpetually cool for 95% of the summertime I've spent here (the lowest record was 5.5 C in the mountain passes).

So I'm attempting to organise / slash the number of photos even more to upload. Remember that I started with 3429 photos for the past month; I managed to go thru 3000+ of them and cut the number of "to develop" (for mother) to approximately 700. My goal is to now cut that down to at most 4 albums for facebook... my current feeling: Urrrghgh. *doesn't even want to start*

I could have sworn yesterday was the 15th, but perhaps by the time I looked at the date it was already ... well, today -- much earlier today. That being said, it's hard to think that in less than 5 days, I won't need to / be able to step all over my bed to reach the window (curtains); jump out of the chair when being called to dinner; utter a moan when I bang my knees or shoulders into the chairs, tables, walls, doors, or anything (due to clumsiness); always see the 7th Harry Potter out of the corner of my eye when typing; flipping the switches on the outlets instead of the switches on the (... what are they called? utilities? no...) appliances; having two pillows when I sleep (though I really only use one; the other is more of like a 'cushion / just to make sure i don't hit my head on the heater/radiator thingamajig); etc. etc.

Mmm, I really like dan ta's, especially the ones the Chinese bakery makes here.

I have now been in England (& a million other European countries minus just as much plus a few) long enough to be thoroughly confused when approaching a street as a pedestrian. Which side of the road do people drive on? (Or perhaps the first question I should ask myself is what country I'm in) Which side do I look? Is this a one way road? Or is it one of those roads that have a million divisions that make it look like two or three-way (however that works, even though it looks like so to me)?

That being said, my latest (and final/third) European trip was contained entirely within England (thank goodness), starting from Newcastle and traveling to Maidenhead/Windsor, then to London, Oxford, Stonehenge, Bath, and finally back to Newcastle. In the meantime, my dear father added some 750-ish more miles to his "total distance traveled during these trips," which adds up to at least 3000 miles within the last month. Goodness me.

That being said, I think I enjoyed this trip the most: it being the shortest and in a country where I actually could understand the language 100% (or at least nearly). I especially liked revisiting London (having been there 3 years before for the AP Euro trip) and how I actually still remembered the places I'd gone (and we basically visited almost all of them) and the metro. Oh my, I rather like the metro system there compared to the other places I've been (Newcastle, Paris, Brussels, Berlin?) because I actually fare better with N/E/S/W-bound better than last-stop directions. Does that even make sense? Nevermind.

I think I have finally finished sorting through 3000+ photos. Now to upload a fraction of them... oh my.

I think my parents are watching some James Bond movie (again? Apparently they've seen Casino Royal or something before). I find it amusing that I've watched zippo of them.

It's mental. The fact that everyone - people in Cincinnati, people in the US, people all over the world ... even the little mischievous children running through the rain in the mountain valleys in Switzerland - seems to be heading back to school (at least the ones that are of the right age), while I - who can and has still been considered as a child (to my half-amusement,half-annoyance) - continue to be secluded from the normal daily life. Instead of poring over books and problem sets twentyfour-seven, I have been spending the last month and a half living out of a suitcase in the Newcastle home. Actually, that's not very accurate as 90% of the past month has consisted of two trips driving through the other part of Europe (more specifically: (trip 1) the Netherlands [Amsterdam], Belgium [Brussels], Germany [Koln, Berlin], Luxembourg [the city]; (trip 2) Germany [Frankfurt, Wurzberg, Rothenburg, Fussen, Heidelberg], Austria [Salzburg], and Switzerland [Zermatt, Zurich, ... i forgot]). In the meantime, my family has managed to accumulate over 4000 km (an estimation, but the second trip did consist of ~3220 km) and 1500 photos (again, an estimation until I get the photos from my dad). Insane.

Some really unorganised points (perhaps to be organised later): I am now so used to seeing time in military style. It seems as though most people over here prefer the 24-h telling of time instead of the a.m./p.m. Ironically, I missed using chopsticks when eating out during this last trip. There are a LOT of Asian tour groups - particularly in Germany. I found them hilarious.

Guess what!? ... We're leaving on Wednesday again... *prolonged groan* At least this time, it's just an England tour in my dad's driver-on-the-right-side car for less than a week.

I have some massive catching up to do with the current/online world.

Wow, what a horrible entry.

*massively revises yesterday's unfinished entry.* This is what was written yesterday...

And, once again, yours truly is back on the road, this time headed/heading for Germany, Austria, and Switzerland, and typing away at my dad's rather confusing laptop (but, hopefully, I will get used to it again).

That being said... So far:

• (Some people just looked at me weird. I probably do look rather strange sitting in a corner of the reception/whatever-room tapping away on a laptop and occasionally meeting their curious glances).
• I attempted to learn stick/manual, which resulted in me freaking out rather badly and making the engine stall several times. (But you cannot blame me entirely. I haven't driven for more than a month, and I'm rather uncoordinated so adding the third pedal is like the death of me already).

Dear me, I have found my new nemesis in the techy world that make my dad's laptop look like a saint: even stranger european kezboards that switch the y and the z, make it impossible for the americans to find the question marks or apostrophes, and cause the resulting entries to be full of strange letters, a ton of spelling mistakes, and a lot of szmbol mistakes as well. For the amusement of the reader) or perhaps to the diyyzness of the reader and the tzper= i shall keep all these lovelz mistakes in. at least for now.

In other news, (I canät find the bloody delete key, and the apostrophes keep eluding mz fingers. I feel as if pretty soon, I'm just going to give up trying to update... Boo, the parentheses are also one key too far to the left)

As I was trying to say, the family started the trip in Frankfurt, Germany this time with a short connection point in Amsterdam. I must say, the Frankfurt airport seemed rather gloomy and unwelcoming to me as the ceilings in the baggage claim area (at least the one we were sent to) was full of pipes, hoops, and metal poles; and I also received a hearty bruise on the arm when the automatic revolving door suddenly stopped, and I didn't. (Speaking of automatic doors, a sidenote: (besides the fact that it took me quite forever to find the colon as well) I went w/ my parents to some P&G get-together thing on Wednesday before we left (oh, i never mentioned when we left: Saturday, August 18; and we're going back on Sept 2, whatever day that is) and encountered the first self-proclaimed-but-not-fully automatic door. In other words, you had to press a button for the doors to open for you.)

Where was I? ... Holy crud, I started typing a 'What we've been doing for the past few days,' but I'm so sick of typing and retyping (b/c of all the spelling and symbol errors) that I think I'll give up for now.

This is the first time Stacy has been defeated by a bloody keyboard. Hahahah... *comments out rest of entry & hits save*

(Gah, I had a nicely-sized entry earlier [yesterday], but my internet died on me, and I accidentally closed the window without saving. So this is version two of what was hopefully meant to be said earlier [yesterday]. Too bad this version is much worse than the first).

woo! and I am finally back in England in front of my dear Thinkpad (of almost one year. it will turn 1 in exactly one week), though, I must say, it slightly distresses me that I seem to have forgotten where some of the keys are (a.k.a. I've forgotten that the 'Fn' key is where my dad's 'Ctrl' is). That being said, I feel like this latest trip to Europe was one fairly big accomplishment, having trekked through no less than four (albeit, most fairly small) countries in the small of ten days in a trusty ol' deep aquamarine car filled with three impatient people with two cameras and one very trusty (though sometimes/often confused) GPS system; those countries would be the Netherlands (where we landed and where dad picked us up from), Belgium (Brussels, where we stayed for most of the time because my dad works there often), Germany (Cologne & Berlin, where ... we sight-saw(?) the two on separate days (exactly a week apart actually)), and Luxembourg (where we saw ... uh, the city, a random castle, and lots of grass). ... Actually, in general, i would say we saw a lot of lot of grassland and roads since we drove everywhere (except for one day in Berlin, where we made fairly good use of the underground, tram, and buses). By the way, I may have found a new amusement for car rides ... or even plane rides. In other words, the fastest speed the GPS has even clocked is around 913 kmph. hehe.

Earlier [yesterday] I had my first attempt at frying/baking/whatever-it's-called nian gao with my mum, including yelping when the oil splattered and splattering the flour dough around the stove due to my incomplete mastery of balancing globs of gloop on slices of red bean (...) paste(?) while using chopsticks.

Blah, I forgot to finish the entry from yesterday, so I continue.

I feel as if my indifference towards eating (but not food, since i'm horribly picky as my parents never fail to remind me at times) has taken over my appetite in the past few weeks. I sometimes wish it wouldn't, especially while I can still enjoy my mother's cooking. *gags at the thought of returning to college food in a month and a week*

Actually, I dread the thought of going back to college because it means returning to the life of brain-crushing, sleep-depriving, (and many other unpleasant but to remain unnamed) stress. I definitely miss my college friends and all; but it seems like the horrors of academic life at college still reign in my ever-pessimistic mind. I enjoy my life as it is now, where I can spend time with my family, meet up with friends (well, when I was still in Cincinnati), and do my own self-study things whenever I want. Poo on whoever invented the idea of torturing young minds.

Holy smokies. After an entire day of nonstop rain, during which yours truly attempted to review chemistry and chinese ... wow, so. boring. Other than that, I guess it's nice to be in Brussels in this hotel suite where the sounds of chatter, horn-honking, dopper-effecting sirens are occasionally joined the sound of an accordion playing pieces like Turkish March, Over the Rainbow, and that one piece we played in orchestra (it's SO flipping familiar but i just can't think of the title right now).

My right shoulder kinda aches when I rotate it backwards (if that makes sense). I wonder if it has anything to do with my sleeping on the couch in a kind of slouching position for the past few days (I abandoned the idea of sleeping on the king-size bed with my parents after one night of almost falling off the edge and trying to sleep in the middle - which didn't work because i kept moving around & felt sorry for those around me). I've also been having bouts of lightheadedness whenever I get up quickly - quite irritating at times because it sometimes takes up to 10 seconds for my brain/vision to clear, during which I grab for anything that might keep me from falling over.

In other news, I feel like my ability to think / write has degraded massively ever since I've departed from England / my Thinkpad. Or maybe, my brain is truly uninspired after spending the majority of these past day sitting on the couch or at the kitchen table doing those two really quite-dull-and-boring activities.

Or else, the stupid TV behind me with all its ads and such are drowning out my own thoughts. I feel like I've heard a billion things related to the 2008 Beijing Olympics by now. Oh look, that's what the news is about right now.

... Chemistry and I seem to have a hate-hate relationship through and through, especially with orbitals, structures, and such.

For some reason, hearing flipflops tapping on the hardwood floor brings back memories of my grandparents' house in Dong-shih, Taiwan. And then that memory brings back more memories of the sliding doors, the mosquito nets, the mosquitoes (who definitely had their share of me w/ over 100 bites in 15 days... i still remember >*lt;), all the food, etc. hehe, and playing on my brother's gameboy =P.

These bloody European-styled laptop keyboards are the death of me (or rather, my typing and touchpad-using skills). I keep hitting wrong keys, using the wrong combo of keys so shortcuts keep failing... >< Take, for instance, the shift key - more notably, the left shift key - which has been hacked in half, with the \ key replacing the place where my pinky has always hit the shift key... so now I keep typing things such as \i instead of I.

Anyway, I'm in some suite-styled hotel in Belgium (Brussels) after a trip to somewhere in Germany (Cologne?)... The hotel's pretty sweet, (or at least our room) since it's got two levels and a really annoying spiral staircase that causes you to almost run into the wall whenever you go down the stairs. Honestly, if they had only built the stairs going the other direction.. that way you would run into the living room part instead.

I think my ability to think of anything intelligent to type has evaded me.

I miss my Thinkpad. =(

First off, happy birthday to my brother of now two & twenty years, eric chang the half/full-time youth minister of CCCYG, and j.k. rowling & harry potter.

So, the other day, my dear parents yanked me out from my comfy perch [walks off to grab a handful of grapes; i also wonder, if i had enough grapes and put them on top of my computer, whether it would somewhat make the temperature go down] in front of my thinkpad and drove all the way to Alnwick to see, well, the castle. As you may (or may not) know, this castle is supposedly special: it houses the current Duke of Northumberland. Oh yeah, and it's where little bits of harry potter were filmed for the first two films. (I personally think, at least these days, the latter fact makes the castle quite a many times more popular than it used to be). So anyway, it was really cool and quite pretty (as I always say of England countrysides -- dunno why. Maybe OH countrysides are really just too plain and boring.). The tour that we tagged along with was something about Battleaxes and Broomstixs. It turned out to be about the two Harrys of the castle, one being - of course, as the tour lady (who was quite amusing, though her humor was somehow expected ... at least to me?) said quite resolutely - Harry Hotspur (no, don't worry. I definitely did not remember that name and had to look it up. I am, unfortunately, not a history-lover, but I am quite good at google searching) and - the tourlady would be very surprised if anyone knew about this one - Mr. Potter. We also got to finally use our tickets (we were allowed to go basically everywhere on the grounds w/o a ticket) and walk through various rooms in the keep, which was quite oO-ing/ "man, how cool would it be to live here... well, not really... but play a scavenger hunt." It's crazy to think that people do really still live there with the library jam packed with books from floor to ceiling (which was probably at least 2 stories), massive sitting rooms with massive, massive mirrors, and an entire hallway practically wallpapered with porcelain plates.

Oh, I forgot to mention the fun part (not). The ticket guy categorised me as a child (5-14), when I clearly identified myself (in my head) as an adult. HA. yeah right. Actually, they had another group called "concession," and it wasn't until I followed the asterisk that I learned that it included students and seniors. My parents tried to do justice to their system by saying I was no longer a child, but the dear old man waved his hand, nonverbally declaring, "no problem, she looks like one enough." And so, I saved my parents two pounds because of childish characteristics -- whatever those are. rawr.

And then my dad drove to the Lake District (again. we'd gone the previous year), insisting that the mountain passes were so pretty. Which they were. Though the roads were rather scary narrow at some point (they would have seriously been considered one-lane roads in America, but no... English cars can magically still squeeze by each other ... very, very barely), so the appearance of an oncoming car sometimes provoked my mother to give a little yelp.

Oh yeah, I need to upload pictures sometime. Did I mention, my family got a new camera? Apparently it's supposed to be mine, but I really don't want it. I rather have my dad's old one because I'm quite clumsy and would probably give my parents a fright with my (apparent) appearance of carelessness with things that are costly (I don't really know how to explain it in english, since my parents always yelp at me about it in chinese; wah, my grammar is horrible these days).

English weather amuses me sometimes. As in, some things have happened here that I haven't seen anywhere else. A.k.a. The other day, I was sitting at my computer, tapping away at the keys when I noticed that the sound of pattering keys wasn't the only pattering reaching my ears. Rain? impossible... I could clearly see sunshine spilling in from the window (with no screen, awesome; it seems like English people don't fancy little black mesh thingies obstructing their view, thank goodness), but ... why were children yelling and the pattering still there even without my fingers on the keyboard? ... And then it finally dawned on my somewhat-in-shock brain that the sky was, indeed, raining while the sun minded its own business and continued to shine like no other. It amused me greatly, and I tried to twist my head to see the grey clouds bringing about the wetness. Too bad the roofing was in the way.

Just today, my poor mother once again yanked me out of my squished surrounding and onto the Metro & a rather big shopping center. Too bad I still haven't developed a liking for shopping, so I moaned and groaned (okay, not continually but enough to be somewhat frequent =X) about being thirsty and 5 pm being rush hour as I tagged along like her shadow. Oh dear. I feel like I need to get rid of my "don't need it, why bother looking around still?" mindset before I even begin to appreciate the experience that so many others seem to find entertaining and exciting (somehow?).

I have been told that my writing sounds rather sarcastic and ... well, i forgot the other word, but you get the point probably. But then again, I have also been told that I sometimes sound Tolkien-ish (having read too much Tolkien during the junior high / early High school year); J.K.Rowling-ish (because, apparently, I use similar words? (but then, there is a rather limited collection of everyday words that everyone must use)); or - the one I find most amusing - textbook or encyclopedia-ish (thanks to the dear friend, who probably got the impression from reading one of my more boring essays; but I don't deny it: I did, indeed, *gasp* read textbooks quite a bit in high school).

Wow, I have absolutely, horrifying long entries these days. Rather stream of consciousness (more like stream of typing), but nowhere near grand, being extremely long-winded, unrefined and clumsy. Even when I go back to read little bits, I feel as if I'm riding in a car (with no shock absorbance) over those really uneven roads made out of glomps of stones; or as if I'm walking through my backyard where the ground will (infuriatingly) randomly give way to a hidden rabbit hole every once in a few leap-steps.

And so, yours truly is in England, has finally obtained her own British version of the final book, finished it, and marveled at the absolute-mental-yet-absolute-brilliant-ness of it all, including the author.

Besides that, my mother tried to teach me how to cook today (a.k.a. made me chop up tofu, carrots & scallions ... except she took over after i'd done about half of the latter because I was so slow, i guess). My dad also set up the wireless connection; quite unfortunately/sadly though, I am still tethered to a wall - in fact, a particular wall - because my Thinkpad needs power, and power that is delivered by/through an American plug, which requires a plug that unites American & English power/outlets, which is only offered (besides in the bathroom...) in the study/bedroom. And so, i am forced to sit at this swiveling chair that must be swiveled to allow the entrance of a person from one side of the room to another. quite literally. As my facebook status implies*, the chair is jammed between the desk and the bed, making a quite solid (but passable) barrier right down the middle of the room, so anyone wishing to reach the window or the dresser on my right-front from the entrance of the room on my left-behind must either kick me out of the chair (which my mother has done on many occasions already) or clamber over the bed (which I have done quite a bit, finding it - not necessarily faster, but - easier (in a sense) to jump onto the bed, then go around it.

As for being in England, it still feels rather weird(even after the fourth or whatever time). I sometimes hear children's' laughter (OUCH, i just spelled lafter ><) and look out to the window to see some kids down the street kicking a soccer ball at a car (though probably meant for the pillar that stands guarding the rather small driveway, but we must forgive them because the kids are still small and their aim ... well, not the best) or playing with huge umbrellas. it was sweet, and somewhat made me nostalgic for my childhood. dunno why.

Ever since I've switched to vista, my computer seems to work harder since I can definitely tell that the case is warmer than usual. (i remember the usual temperature being 29 C, but these days it hovers around 31 C - yes, i'm dorky. sorry.) Poor thing.

For those that don't have facebook, bless them - untainted by the all-i-can-proclaim-to-the-world craze: [I am] crammed into a chair that has somehow been miraculously jammed into the 2 ft of space between the study desk and the bed.

Mmm, my time here at the lab is almost over. That would mean no more waking up at (progressively later times after) 7.30 am, almost falling asleep at work due to the absence of amusing things (as interesting as biology can be, it's still not very exciting when you can't visibly observe what's happening at the molecular level; and life is terribly boring when you haven't internet, which they just took away this past week - probably due to IP address conflicts or something), smelling the oh-so-lovely stench of bacteria and bleach, and dealing with traffic/rush hour (at least I now know where traffic slows down on which parts of I-71).

Nevertheless, I must say, I will sorely miss gazing out of the 3F really-tall — perhaps at least 7 feel tall? — windows (and thereby being able to observe the weather — especially when it thunderstorms), playing with the micro-pipettes, pouring all the random solutions (of which I'm sometimes warned "it's very dangerous / carcinogenic / mutagenic / etc. to humans so be careful."), sitting around waiting for machines to do their work, and making & running DNA & protein gels (I made my first successful batch of the loveliest-looking SDS-PAGE gels yesterday; a.k.a. leakage negative, solidifying positive. 100%sweetness =D). At least I've learned quite a bit about how life-after-college-with-work functions (as opposed to attending classes every weekday more specifically what work is like at a lab; and, of course, Chinese - both conversational & scientifically (I now recognise mix (hun yun), centrifuge (li xin(g)?), enzyme (mei), protein (dan bai), cells (xi bao), and others that I would remember if you said that -- which no one probably would outside of the lab).

Overall, it's been a nice experience, and one I should truly be thankful for since, ironically, I was most interested in the biomolecular/biochemistry part of AP Bio, and had previously said I wanted to do some kind of research job. Well, I got both right in this lab, unknowingly albeit a bit unwillingly at first (for reasons that will go untold). But, you know, I really think this was the doing of God - poking and prodding me along to explore what I said I was interested in. That being said hopefully I'll have more of an idea about what I want to do, major-wise and career-wise. Hmmmm.

It feels rather strange/surreal just to think that, in less than a week, I'll be at least 1/4 of the world away from many/all of my friends in a different country in a different continent. I've always a hard (but not necessarily bad) time with changes; so, whenever I go to some other place, it takes me awhile to grasp the fact that life goes on back at home (or wherever) even when I'm not there to observe it. (That makes me wonder what would it be like to be God and be able to see what's happening at any place at every moment. and how much brainpower would it require... =X)

Ho hum, I am bored and wondering what else I can do (in the dark, since some person is working w/ the microscope on the computer next to me) to keep my fingers moving so they don't freeze. (As if you can't tell by the amount of writing I've already tapped out on this keyboard within the past 3 hours in between 'washing' the protein 'paper,' sonicating & 'cooking' DNA/bacteria, and loading & running the protein gel.)

I seem to have this perpetual and rather annoying habit of reaching for the scroll button on the mouse or - probably worse - the touchpad whenever I'm at a computer (even if I can blatantly see and feel that it's a desktop and not a laptop). I also use mouse gestures so frequently on my laptop that it takes me several futile tries of click+dragging the mouse on other computers to remember that not all users mind maneuvering the mouse to the corner of a window to open/close, min/maximize, etc. things. I wonder if it's a sign of laziness - that I'm too lazy to look at the screen carefully enough to position the cursor on the 'x' and click... After all, I also use keyboard shortcuts quite a bit. =X

(Oh, and yes, I think I have to (unfortunately) remind people: I don't particularly enjoy eating when I'm already full, nor do I particularly enjoy chocolate, coffee, whipped cream, meat, seafood, and expensive, sweet or oil foods. (Hm, I need to update my 'about' section). Nonetheless, thanks muchly for yesterday and everything.)

Alright, I do believe I have already tortured whoever happens to (still, if any,) be reading this. Word tells me that I have now surpassed one page of single-spaced typing and am now approaching (and probably way past) 750 words in length. It also says my grade level is 14.2 with a reading ease level of 50.2 — whatever that means =X. (Honestly, how do they come up with these kinds of diagnostic thingies? After all, everyone has a different writing style and set of vocabulary, or they might not even be typing in English...) Ah well. To those who have endured until the end, I love you guys, and I don't understand how you would be able to read all this (because I don't even feel like going back to reread — yes, I even revise my journal entries... usually). To those who didn't and skip-read every other half a page... awesome, you probably just saved yourself a lot of time, and I still love you guys.

Now to more what-to-do? as I have just finished doing the preps for restriction enzyme cutting and am now to wait for the next (at least) 3 hours and 20 minutes as the machine does its job. I am debating whether to take a nap in the still-dark room or to fa dai in the big-windowed lab room, where I can watch the thunderstorm that's just developed within the past half hour; I love watching them as they unleash their unhappiness on the rollicky hills of Cincinnati. Mmm, the pitter-pattering of rain on the window and the grumbling roars of thunder — they sound hollow, as if they originate from inside an empty trashcan (wow, where did I just get that?)

And we end, at last, with 1066 words, the year in which William the Conqueror invaded England, and some comet blazed across the night sky in ... England/Europe?

Mmm, i love going out w/ my church friends (okay, more like the '06/'10 Sunday school class). It really made up for the =(-iness that came w/ bidding byebye to my brother (back to the (north)west) and my dad (back to England) this afternoon.

Wooo! A (genuine) copy of Vista! =D <3 brother.

As usual, I commented out my was-to-be-posted entry because i never finished but *uncomments entry below.*

<3 my family, especially when i get to see all of them.

So I'm "very highly encouraged" to do write-ups/lab reports on the stuff I've done thus far during this past month at the lab. EEPS. Problem is, I have no idea what a lot of the procedures/stuff is called or even what I'm doing sometimes (okay, a lot of the time). Quite a frequent dilemma: I'm trying to type up the methods and I simply cannot think of the right phrase in English that matches with the Chinese phrase that the person uses. At least my vocabulary/recognition skills for more science-y Chinese is somewhat greater, but honestly... oO Blaaaaah. The worse dilemma is where I can't even begin to describe something because I never really understood what they were talking about because there were too many foreign words and the thing itself was just as unfamiliar.>

This is rather depressing. I had a nice decent-sized entry typed out for 11:23 am this morning, but then I never saved it before hurriedly 'ctrl+w'-ing everything because I was called away. Boo freewebs for not having a "save and continue" button.

So ... because I'm seriously about to fall asleep right now (for some reason I'm always really sleepy/tired these days, especially at work) and because the entry was pretty pointless besides mentioning that the pair of khakis I'm currently wearing has served me very nicely for the last five or six years, I'm... probably just going to "forget about it," save now, and pray I don't fall asleep for the rest of work or on the way home... or on the way to Alvin's for worship practise and back. Oh my.

My family's almost all in the same place now..! (a.k.a. my daddy is back for the week for business stuff).

Wait, wait, wait. Why is yahoo photos closing?! I have... around *40 flipping albums on that bloody thing. !!

Thank you to all those who pestered me incessantly to go to Summer Retreat. I quite enjoyed all 14 hours that I spent there. =)

Mmm, how I've missed the feeling of typing on my old keyboard -- or at least the desktop computer at home. Hehe, I can feel the worn-outness of the keys.

So a string of not-so-happy,-but-somewhat-humouring things that's happened to me lately.
1) The e. coli colonies that I tried to harvest (or whatever the correct term is) failed. But oh well, ... my experiments were filled with mistakes anyway. =X
2) The first living thing that greeted me this evening after work was a big fat fly buzzing around in the kitchen with all the lovely food my mum cooked left uncovered. And what did that big fat fly do as soon as I neared the table enough? Land on my dinner. At which point, I yelled, among a bunch of other things, "Ai yah! / My dinnnnerrrr!! / You stupid fly! / Get away! / *stomps/jumps in frustration.*" Haha, and then I yelled some more at the fly while talking to my mum on the phone. She must've thought I was going crazy or something with all my random outbursts. (I still ate my dinner so hopefully that fly had clean feet).
3) Thunderstorms keep popping out of nowhere these days. Ironic that earlier last week, I'd said that I didn't mind bad weather that much. Wrrooooong. They keep impinging on my sacred sleeptime. aoweifjas;fdk;
4) Speaking of popping, the electric shock thing that they use to shove the genes into the bacteria in the lab freaks me out whenever (well, who knows what happens) something goes wrong. It's always like *push/hold down buttons,* *cringes in anticipation,* and 40% chance of jumping at the sudden bright illumination & POP! or 60% chance of sighing w/ relief when the machine only beeps -- if the former occurs, shake the cuvette & try again; if the latter, yay... move on to the next cuvette & repeat the torture.

Okay, going back to my dear Thinkpad. *waves*

I think... I would prefer doing science at the not microscale-or-anything-smaller because, thus far, all my experiments have resulted in barely salvageable yields that are tettering (what? firefox says that isn't a word. same w/ the word 'firefox') on the edge of "you lose. it'll be virtually impossible to get any results from this." Which probably results from the fact that my laboratory skills aren't up to par & thus, everything I measure or do results in (oh no, I'm getting haunted by EDC) imprecision & thus, inaccuracies. haha, oh well. people learn from mistakes, right (albeit at UC's expense)?

I can't decide whether I want to change this layout or not. I like the cheery mood (or at least cheerier than my other/scenery ones), but I'm getting quite sick of the fact that it's been the same for almost a year now. (In approximately 1 month and 3 days, it will turn a year old. The record was for the "To a Waterfowl" one, which managed to survive for 1 yr., 4 mo., and 19 days?). Problem is, if I change the layout/background, ... well, I have no inspirations right now ... sooo, any suggestions?

I definitely had more to say, but I've forgotten by now.

Oh, playing 'Killer Bunnies' w/ the no-longer-seniors,-but-now-college-frosh people was rather interesting. I have concluded that that game brings out the crazy & desperate side of people. 'Twas extremely amusing to see how someone reacted to others trying to kill their bunnies. (that was really bad grammar. or syntax. whatever.) Hehe, yay for my brother discovering this game at college and giving it to me for xmas XD. Too bad people at NU don't seem to want to play it since it involves so much explanation =(.

Oops. I just realised I typed the date as 8.22 - two months early. Oh! Summer solstice occurred yesterday!

[edit]Ask me about my summer plans if you want. They are now *poof* hidden.[/edit]

And now, I am officially on ET because I am not using my laptop.

I start(ed) work today. And to my great joy, I don't have to work with mice and their accompanying grossness. Instead, I get to do... uh, actually I'm not quite sure. But it has to do with molecular biology basically - DNA cloning, etc. which makes a fairly content stacy (even though I always have this looming fear that I'll screw up massively).

This fear, I believe, is well-justified. You see, the person who I happen to be following & thus learning from is Chinese and, well, is better at speaking Chinese than English and, therefore, explains everything (minus one percent) in Chinese. My knowledge of chinese, on the other hand, is limited to the basic everyday language (and perhaps a bit more) and nowhere near sufficient enough to understand scientific concepts explained in Chinese. Good thing I still remember some/most of the genetics stuff from ap bio; otherwise, understanding by context (which is basically how I survive right now...) would be just as useless as blowing on a box to make it move.

By the way, I'm really bored even though I'm still at work. Which, by the way, I will be having for the next 4 weeks, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Mmm...

hmph. Meanwhile, others get to go help at VBS and all.
I promise I'm not jealous.

I'm just ... slightly too restless for sitting and waiting around in UC labs.

I really like the smell of sparkling peach.

6 + 7 = 13! ...

I'm back in Cincinnati, and I have no idea which time zone i should go by because my computer is still in Chicago/CT (laziness), yet I'm in ET.

*deep breath* Well, one year of college is already gone ... o.O It felt like constant suffering while I was at NU, but now that I look back .. I feel like I should've taken more opportunities and not just kept myself buried in a mountain of books. I need to get rid of my perfectionistic tendencies as well as my mindset that every moment not spent on visibly productive things (i.e. doing academics-related stuff or work, etc.) is wasted. If I did get rid of them, they would totally make my life so much easier.. ><

I really need to change this layout. It's been almost a year by now...

6 + 1 = 7!

And the school year is slowly (finally) coming to an end.

I shall miss my work-study. where I perfected my skills at stuffing envelops ; typing, printing, and copying; counting, carrying, and labeling boxes of pens, clipboards, everything-imaginable, including alcohol...; handwriting notes for other people (and forging their signature / sincerely yours)... mmmm.

My body - including my tummy and my brain - is being rather petulant.

I caught the palm of my left hand in my umbrella while closing it, so now it has a bubble of blood underneath the skin (because I didn't have time to wipe the blood away as it dried as I walked to the very.last.(yay!) EA3 midterm).

I had more revelations to say, but I've forgotten them by now.

It's June, ah!

On this last day of May at 2-4 am in the morning, Stacy has spent her life crouched over her roommate's laptop as it repeatedly crashed and loop d'looped the start-up process. But! The nice thing is that she finally managed to get through, AND may have found a possible reason to why the laptop is so insanely, on-its-deathbed slow. (having ~150,000 fragmented files may be a factor).

... Alright, this is ridiculous. It's light outside (again). I'm going to bed. The bloody defragmenter has been at 12% for the past flipping at least 40 minutes. wow.

first off, i love my brother and how he's a cs major and 2 hours behind me. <3

I hate how i'm sitting here in complete darkness minus the light caused by my laptop screen (which is rather bright even at the lowest setting) with at least 10% of my ea3 homework left to do. And yet all I'm doing here is staring at the screen, thinking "man, this is so boring." while listening to music and the sound of someone showering (a.k.a. caroline).

Which reminds me, I shall miss living in this room -- reasons include that we won't get direct sunlight in the afternoon, we can't peek into allison anymore (being too far away), and i definitely won't recognise that it's caroline in the shower @ 3 in the morning (because honestly, she and I are the only ones who take showers anywhere from 2 to 6 am quite regularly; but we're not living on the same floor next year =(...).

I've been trying to figure out whether I remember certain things more on hearing or smelling. I think right now i'm in favor of the former, but i'm really not sure. ...

[18 hours later] Yet again, I forgot to save this..[/edit]

Hehe, my brother's getting a Thinkpad as well. In fact, he wanted the same model type as mine, except they don't sell them anymore -- so his computer will be T61 instead of T60 and contain 150 less pixels heigh-wise. Apparently he isn't too pleased that he's missing those pixels.

How ridiculous is it to say that I missed 20 minutes of physics on Thursday because I was playing a card game called 'Killer Bunnies'? >< ... And that I built towers with the colorful cards later that day? ... And then went to see Pirates3 (which was ridiculously, chaotically amusing)? ... And then played with Photoshop (elements b/c photoshop isn't installed on my laptop yet) until daybreak (at which point I wisely decided it was time to go to bed)? Oh well, that was basically a recap of ~18 hours of my life on Thursday/Friday.

I need to bring myself to read EA3 or do EDC work. meh.

Sinceramente, ¿saben ellos lo que están haciendo a mí? Que variedad. No sé lo que pensar estos días. blast.

Here's to an "I'm Bored" / my-thoughts-aren't-structured rambling:

I suppose I do miss driving (Watch me take that back completely right after I return to Cinci after a 5-6 hr drive). I have now seen how nice it is to go around to places with*out* your feet [being] as your only means of transportation. [oops for typos]

I just opened my box of cereal from Belgium. From Belgium because it was yummy-tasty and because I've never seen it in any US stores thus far. =P I remember when the border control person asked me if I had any food, and I replied with cereal. He was rather amused at the fact that I would be bringing cereal back from out of States. That and also the fact that I wrote 2006 as the year of my birthday for the declaration form. Oops. Nevertheless, good times, mmhmm.

Eeps, the sootballs from Spirited Away are so flipping adorable. <3

Yay for finally getting sensible graphs for the bloody EA3 project. Though I must say that one graph that seriously looked like an Indian blanket or something looked pretty cool..

[edit] I hate it when I leave windows open for hours and forget about things like this. *presses save/submit*[/edit]

I find it kind of ironic that for all the days I've missed/skipped Physics lecture, the professor just happens to post the lecture slides ... which means it's happened two or three times by now.

I hate picking classes, especially when my registration time isn't the greatest. Mmm.... and the fact that I miss doing English stuff (a.k.a. writing, grammar-ing, butchering other people's essays, etc.) ... what do i take!? Ah!

Hahaha, quote from EDC prof: "You're quite a writer!" Can't really see that from these random spurts of "blaahs" though.

[edit] Interesting, there's a Knickerbocker teaching Chinese for fall quarter =P.[/edit]

You know, now that I'm pretty much decided on whether to rid a class or not... I feel rather sad =(.

All those nights/mornings spent writing +10 pages of lab reports ... (and receiving very nice grades for them too) are basically going to be *whispers* wasted =(. But honestly, once I drop it, ... well, look at me right now: I seriously don't know what to do because I'm not doing the HW due tomorrow.

holy crud. whoever invented EA needs to.. not have existed. 9A8WUFOIWJF;ZL/. =((((((

... =((((((((((((((.

And I shouldn't have taken the Honors pathway. x(

double u. tee. ef.

It's kind of weird to think that those are the names of the letters; and yet, the names themselves are made up of letters.

By the way, those letters stand for... um, "what the frog" for my roomie & I; or maybe "willow thy feet" -- that kinda sounds cool (never mind that I just fished those words out of nowhere).

I'm so sick of writing... reports. I though engineering was the way to go if one didn't want English. Well, what a dilemma. I do enjoy writing (if given enough time); and I am rather picky at making my writing sound as flowy / coherent / nice as possible.
That's probably why this silly EA4 lab has taken me the past week and a half to do. And why I'm still not done.

It currently stands at 15 pages (4 of which are appendices of Matlab code), with at least 4 pages of solid, single-spaced writing (that would be equivalent to approximately eight pages of a double-spaced essay.

o_O. I bet you I'll get yelled at for writing so much (and I haven't even finished...)

Whaaaaaaat ! ><!

Lately, my ability to stay up has vanished, and I get dead tired by 3 am; staying up until 4 is quite a feat now =(((. My ability to wake up early has also vanished with my normal wake up time is now 8 =(.

What has college done to meee??

Oh my. Writing "Hi. This is the charity I have been giving a lot of my time to. It is all about helping children. I would love it if you could come out and join ____ and I at the races! Hope to see you, ____ ____" (Blanks for privacy purposes) FOURTY times made me feel like I was being punished .... like in those olden days when kids had to write lines for who knows what. Goodness. >< So now my right hand is tired like no other; and I have an EA3 midterm in exactly two hours. Sigh.

I complain a lot. What an annoying child I must be. =X ... =\

I still smell like the car that we borrowed from MotorPool today. Oh, and I got to experience one of my EDC team member's driving skills (Lizhou's if you must know), experience boys being the typical "Uh, well we missed the exit or something, so you know, we'll just wander around until we find something we know" (it turned out to be the Chicago Botanical Garden), visit a middle school (whee =D. haha, they were so excited to see college kids; they bombarded us with questions like no other...), and see the horror dawn on another EDC team member's face after he realised (once we were back on campus) that he'd left his bookbag back at the middle school XD. ...

I should go back and study now. Mmmhmm. *shakes right hand out*

In approximately 8 minutes, yours truly will enter the last year of the teens, a.k.a. 19. I really don't know what to think of it.

Perhaps the best early bday gift was getting to see Wicked on Broadway Chicago last Wednesday. <3 x infinity!

Thank you for all the birthday wishes =).

Blegh. The EAs are indeed murdering me. The daily 'reading quizzes' in EA3 and the utterly.pointless. classes in which we do nothing but .. at most 2? 'concept questions' -- basically no lecture/learning, just debating and being confused as the prof realises that he doesn't know how to explain things to us students. The differential equations in EA4, the lack of good and clear explanations and/or examples, and just URGH. Those classes drive me mad. I think I almost cried over them because I wasted my entire weekend just trying to do the homeworks. One EA4 problem took me ... well -- I started looking at it last night around 9 pm, perhaps. I slept on it, tried to do it some more, and finally got a numeric/plausible answer for it today at about 4 pm. Too bad the number under the radical's still wrong. ... it makes me quite ready to just rip up all the paper and .. i dunno, throw it out the window or something. Too bad I still have 5 other problems to do -- or is it 6? oh dear.

I wish I could stop worrying about schoolwork / my grades. I wish people hadn't invented this concept of grading. I kind of wish some brilliant people had never existed so that I wouldn't have to suffer through all this, waste days of my life learning stuff and then having it amount to not-so-nice results, and just overall making my life nice and miserable.

And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy,
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed.

my dear foreverfriends teddy bear slightly shedded today as I was giving it a damp-cloth bath. =((( my mummy (& daddy) gave it to me for my (early) birthday. =( *prays that bear will not lose any more fur*

I feel like this quarter is really going to kill me. o.O

Wow, has it seriously been almost a month since I've last updated? that's kind of mental. But anyway, SB '07 was lovely as I got to fly on my own to Newcastle to meet mis padres and then go to Amsterdam & Brussels, where we took pictures, drove & walked around a lot.

I don't like the look of my spring quarter.. =(

The latest bedtime record, set on 02/16, now stands at 8:45 am. But, never fear, I still somehow managed to attend classes from 11 until 4:30 straight -- which, by the way, also included a chem lab.

My schedule for the last month has been wake up, go to classes, (go to work), do homework, maybe eat dinner, do homework until 4-5 am, sleep; and repeat. It's a rather/very dismal lifestyle.

Why am I so slooooow? ><

I don't think I was made to be an engineer at NU.
I think that's why I'm slowly self-destructing.
My clumsiness these days also isn't helping. (Today, I added to my list of "way to cut Stacy": lifting/carrying/stacking cardboard boxes full of clipboards, acrylic frames, or... wine X(... at work).

Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things."

ow. don't use your fingers as a semi-cutting board when cutting apples. i kinda didn't know knife cuts could go that deep and cleanly... *is slightly intrigued yet grossed out*. I'm really not looking forward to showering or anything that involves my hand getting wet X(.

That being said, happy birthday to some dear friends =).

I dislike how every school -- whether it be lakota, mason, sycamore, UC, UIUC, OSU, Case, etc. -- has had some kind of closing; pretty much every school except for ... the lovely NU. so far, it's resulted in students struggling and floundering through once-supposedly-plowed sidewalks now recovered by the wind by 3-4 inches. not to mention the onslaught of whirling ice-like snow as the wind blew in gusts and threatened to snatch away or rudely push over certain students. For instance, at one point on my walk home on Tuesday, the person I was walking with became quite fearful that I would be blown away. It pretty much felt like I was walking sideways/backwards, even though my legs were definitely making the motion of moving forward.

And now, I should probably go work on my homework. I think my brain truly went into standby after the horrible 8 hours straight of writing a measly 7-paged formal lab report. And, by the way, my record bedtime is now 7:42 am. I even got to see the sky grow light (actually, that's technically not true since I was in the basement from 2:30 until 7:30 am). I digress. To homework!

I'm starting to learn that staying up late doing homework (chem labs especially, and EA problem sets) starts to work wonders on your mind. More specifically, it tends to make one go a bit mental and incoherent.

Too bad there's actually a maximum page limit this time =(.

... My chem lab partner definitely just came back with a previously empty starbucks coffee bottle full of fluffy white stuff.
also know as... snow.
I completely forgot that it's been snowing so I seriously thought it was foamy soap at first.

And apparently, the snow is now our timer: when it melts, that's it.

Yeah right. Actually, I should probably go back to my formal lab X6.

Yay a tiny bit more snow. No yay for mounds of homework. If all my homework/everything turned into snow, we would have about 10 ft more of snow. I wonder if they would cancel classes then.

Listening to Footloose (especially 'I Confess') really reminds me of England for some reason. I remember distinctly sitting by a window in the tiny apartment bedroom watching the sky grow darker while trying to play through the music/piano in my head. I think that song just sticks particularly well since it's all acoustics and has a lovely flowy piano part, <3.

I miss doing musicals.

College does change people. I guess.

It's really rather pretty when you're walking through swirling snow. And then you start to feel really cold.