Hi! My name is Stacy, and I'm a freshman at Northwestern studying Biomedical Engineering. Actually, I'm not sure why I'm doing BME or why I'm here.. The college joke that P. Jimmy never fails to mention was painfully accurate - painful in the sense that my top 3 choices hadn't rejected me, but that I had rejected them. Back then, I comforted myself by insisting that it was done out of convenience: I wasn't sure of my major, and it wasn't in the middle of nowhere. Still, I struggled with the question, "why Northwestern?" and for the longest time, I regretted my college choice, which I made clear to others.

Life at Northwestern proved to be harder than high school, and I ended up being crushed mentally and academically not too few times. It didn't help that I didn't really have anyone to turn to and vent out my frustration. Actually, that shouldn't have been a surprise. I didn't really like people: they were too unpredictable, energy-expending, and confusing to deal with, especially when they cried. Thus, I kept my emotions to myself and continue on with life.

Ironically, one of my most distinct first memories at Northwestern was the first ACCESS gathering. Following HMCC tradition, we were told to meet and greet one another during worship. I ended up talking to a girl in a red hoodie. My sharing involved the superficial, "I'm at college, not too homesick... You?" She then began to pour out her current life struggles: roommates, rooming issues, the stress and all. To my fright, she began to cry uncontrollably while asking for prayer, which I tried to give all the while being rather bewildered.

That was my first impression of HMCC: Hardcore people who were all for church planting, meeting people, and being emotional at times. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have continued going, but the persistency with which older brothers and sisters knocked on my door was enough to make me feel guilty should I not go to church. There were many times when I grudgingly went, moping about as I thought about that "massive" problem set due in 3 days. My mind wasn't focused on the sermons or on God; I sometimes drifted off and then felt guilty afterwards. After a point, I started wondering why I was going; and yet, I kept going.

Sophomore year, I became more involved and joined the then-3-person multimedia team. My task required minimal time and wasn't particularly exciting, but it taught me to be faithful to my work. Even as I served, however, I began to see more: these people devoted a huge chunk of time outside of their work or school to build up this church. The faithfulness and diligence with which they carried out their tasks week after week was inspiring and cause me to wonder, "Really, is the church that important that they're willing to give up their study time and sleep?" It challenged me to think about what I was living for and why. No doubt, my answer back then was "surviving school because I'm stuck here" – which, in itself, was a pretty miserable thing on which to base my life.

[Junior through senior year] The transformation came slowly. I can't exactly pinpoint when it started since it was so gradual. I do remember making a "conscious" decision during sophomore year to live out the motto "blessed to be a blessing" and to be a joyful creature – whatever that entailed. I grew to accept the fact that I was at Northwestern and that, perhaps, God had some mysterious plan for me here that I just couldn't understand. I also finally acknowledged that I might need human interaction occasionally, and that God had, perhaps, placed these adorably obnoxious yet lovable underclassmen in my life.

Miraculously, as I started to focus less on school, life became more enjoyable: community was no longer a chore but an opportunity to spend time with others, building one another up while being goofy and silly; serving was no longer a task, but an opportunity to employ the talents and resources God had given me, whether it was washing dishes, being the recycler of church bulletins, or staying up until 5am working on Webads. Through big things and small, I began to see my life not as just my own but being impacted by (and hopefully impacting) others. Above that, I also began to see God's faithfulness, placing people and circumstances in my life that convicted me of my approach towards life. I was forced to reflect upon my priorities and motives, to reevaluate how much value I placed in people and community versus my own selfish wants and 'needs', and, especially, to remember the love and grace I've been shown and respond to it. It hasn't always been easy, but it's been a blessing to see how much God has grown each and every one of us these past four years.

So now I can say with confidence, Hi! I'm a senior about to graduate from Northwestern with a BME degree. I'm still not entirely sure what I'll be doing after next fall, but I know at least this: God has placed me here at Northwestern for a reason; He has been faithfully reaching out to me through others during my college years, and He will continue, no doubt, to work in the lives of those around me regardless of where we go.

Seniors! Primary colors! [Photo: Glyu?]

My friends are adorable. [Photo: Jared's EOS]

 
And really... strange. [Photo: Jared's EOS]

But I love them anyway. =) [Photo: TLin, Jared's EOS]

That being said, yesterday was an incredibly chill day. I did attend both of my classes (– and stayed awake for both (95% confidence interval for EECS, which - in my book -is rather high for that class!), but the weather was so absolutely gorgeous, and I spent the other time at home chilling in the living room with my dual monitor set-up (that I had done during the summer) – basically everything reminded me of summer. To top it off, made homemade pizza and 蔥油餅 with Byron, Chang, Chiarng, and Steven. To say the least... the latter two were somewhat and extremely hyper, respectively. I wish I could post the video, but someone might kill me. =P I'll make do with snapshots of the videos/photos instead. (Thanks, Chang, for recording. =D)

I especially like Byron's speechless face. It's in response to Steven's singing.

Today was not so chill. Well it was chilly in the temperature-wise manner. (No, this is not meant to be any kind of remotely-connected-to-pun-ness). I managed to spend 5 straight hours in the dungeon known as Tech lab, where I met quite a crowd of my engineering friends, JohnYu, Byron, Wenhao, Will, and of course ... my 395 teammates, Cece, Chiarng, DWu, Sun. It felt kinda weird yet amusing since the place was otherwise overrun with frazzled EA3 freshmen. =P

The two seniors especially had fun making an epic big pizza.
Or rather, Stacy dumped a whole bunch of ingredients, and Byron had to deal with pulling it out of the oven.

The other two who helped to make the ridiculous pizza and transport it from cutting board to cutting board to oven.

Hungry? (Too bad; it's been entirely devoured. :P)

One of the long-overdue entries, dating back to at least 1/26. The beginning is rather outdated now, but to show the complete (albeit random) train of thought, I'll keep it for context –

[Sometime in January...]
Last week, my BME Design class had a guest speaker. It was – to say the least – interesting and eye-opening in a strange manner. I probably came away with the entirely wrong points because I can't recap much of the "real" take-aways. (Apparently, the title of the lecture was "Commercialization".) The most that I really remember from the presentations was that the speaker admired people such as Kobe Byrant, Lang Lang, and a few others – people who were famous for what they had accomplished. He also listed out "a typical person's dream" (paraphrased): "I hope to go to X university, take Y courses, graduate with a Z GPA, get a job at W. Then, hopefully the economy will be good, and I will retire by V years." (Variable names are not important). Quite amusingly, after reading the list, he turned around to face us, paused, and then declared it to be (essentially) lame, asking us why we would settle for such a life when we could strive for more. "Would you settle for less? No!" he emphatically stated.

Innovation was a big theme of the presentation – big enough to have an entire slide devoted to its WordArt form. "You" was just as plastered all over the place: "You, Inc." he boomed, "Why can't each of our names have an "Inc." after it...? They can!"

Perhaps the speaker was simply trying to emanate an air of confidence and motivation as he encouraged us to "strive for more!" but – being somewhat turned off by his seemingly slightly proud manner in his matter-of-fact statements such as "these are the only five ways leading to innovation" – I was no more motivated by his speech to "be innovative" than to be content with (by his standards) "settling for less" – just to spite his statements (yes, quite a silly thought). Sometimes it's scary to see how the delivery and wording of messages can really affect my perception on things. ><

One of his points that caught my easily distracted attention was his statement: "There aren't that many needs. The world is pretty happy." It was supposed to encourage us to think harder about how we can actually create something that is progressive, something that the world will want to need. Unfortunately, my mind wandered in a completely different direction.

I began to wonder, is the world "pretty happy"? I didn't think so. Just a glance around the college campus revealed so many stressed out students – under and upper-classmen alike (albeit, perhaps for different reasons). They didn't seem too happy: they seemed stressed, some almost even to the point of mental breakdown at times... genuinely panic-attack-worthy stressed. Not to mention the brokenness of the world outside of "oh my goodness, I got a C on my midterm!" spazzes: addiction, homelessness, war, etc. I didn't view the world as being pretty happy and not in need. On the contrary, the world seemed to be full of suffering, pain, death ... bad, unhappy things.

I've always pondered, why is there suffering? Perhaps my Sunday-school self would promptly reply, "Because we've sinned: we live in a fallen, broken, imperfect world so, of course, bad things such as suffering, pain, death are bound to occur." Perhaps my logical self would also add, "To know good, we must know to what it is compared: bad." Still, that doesn't really justify why it exists. Unfortunately, I can't say I really had any epiphanies about it. I wish I did. What I can say, though, is this: it teaches.

Humility. It's helped me to realise that – however hard we try – there is no way in which we can avoid suffering, or, if we go deeper, sin. We can't save ourselves from the evils of this world or, if I want to make it more personal, from ourselves/myself – one of the primary sources from which suffering arises. A lot of my "suffering" has been brought on by none other than myself: my selfish, prideful human nature in thinking I know what I want and I know how to achieve it, and in desiring to strive for perfection (you know, perfectionistic tendencies in any and all areas: grades, perfectly-functional and efficient computer programs, spotless kitchens, etc. :P). At the same time, it's ironic because the Bible states very clearly (and I've been taught my entire life) that there is but one perfect human: Jesus. And so, even as I continue to unwittingly (or not) try to do everything as perfectly as possible, I'm reminded of my failures and inadequacies. – It's quite a depressing if my stream of thought ended here. But then, there's...

Hope: knowing that there is a way out the problem and that it (thankfully) doesn't rely on me. It is based on Jesus: faith in Him and what he has done for us through his death and resurrection on the cross. It's an awesome revelation that saves me from an otherwise pretty depressing state. During winter retreat, Dr. Steve Lee reminded us of the beauty of the Gospel: not that we are lovable, but that we are loved regardless (Romans 5:8). It's a Gospel of grace in the realization that nothing in me is worth dying for, and yet Christ has already paid the price of sin (a.k.a. death) through the cross. I've always struggled with the concept of having someone die in my place, but I liked how Dr. Lee phrased it: "Grace comes unmerited, but accept it in faith." Easier said than truly understood – but it's coming, slowly but (hopefully) surely. =)

Even now, I definitely struggle to accept things: people feeding me – meals and little surprise snacks alike, people refusing to allow me to wash the dishes in my own place (though, in the end, it's usually a compromise), people praying for me, people offering to carry my burdens with me. I tend to be an "oh, I can handle it myself; it's okay" kind of person – I suppose one can call it self-sufficiency –, and I tend to try to do (too many) things on my own. The result is that either I become proud about my self-sufficiency, or else I get broken by my inability to handle everything. During a particular hard time, I remember Grace pulling me aside and plopping a Bible down in front of me, "Galatians 6:2-4, read it."

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. [Galatians 6:2-4]

To say the least, it was rebuking in a loving way: a reminder that we weren't made to bear our burdens alone, but that the community exists not only to be there for joyous occasions but also to support one another in times of need, trials, and sufferings. Sharing is caring, even if it's sharing the not-so-happy moments because it teaches us / forces me to rely on others and God for strength and support. =)

So, vaguely going back to the initial BME class, I guess what I mean to say is that ... as much as I may want to become some great inventor of some progressive innovation (well, not really actually) which involves a lot of me-centered goals, I thoroughly enjoy the presence of people working together so much more – people who aren't out to outcompete one another in today's power-hungry/achievement-seeking world, but people who are really community-centered and Christ-centered, building one another up through encouragement and love. (Ephesians 2:22 - TETRIS!).

Speaking of joyous occasions, baptism was this past Sunday (05/16/10 [six years after my own baptism in '04!]) with 8 members of our church being baptized into the brother/sisterhood in Christ – 3 of which were our dear Tetris members: JBKim, Jared, and Maggie!

Tetris & friends [Photo: ?, Joy's D90]

Seniors, ahhh! [Photo: JLee, Joy's D90]

Also celebrated Byron's birthday by waiting outside his apartment for 10 minutes and inside his apartment for another 5 at least. He's a popular one; and he's got a squishable giraffe now. =P

Byron with the girls [Photo: CLin, Chiarng's camera]

Byron with the senior guys [Photo: Chiarng's camera]

The Pinoy Show was also the day before. Got to have a very mini-reunion of friends from Shepard way back in those freshman/sophomore days...

It's insane to think how it's been almost 4 years...

And... a final epic picture of combined N. Campus LGs (Tetris & Ohmies). Yay, we finally rival the size of the S. Campus LG (Redeemed).

Ohmies + Tetris. A relatively tame picture. =P [Photo: LHa, Joy's D90]

So... life since the last entry has been - surprise, surprise - mind-bogglingly busy: essentially everyday has been jam-packed full of classes and/or other activities –

Spring Break Missions trip: The trip itself was – though not a life-changing experience but nevertheless – eye-opening [more to come later when that entry is finished]. At first it felt somewhat surreal/foreign being back in front of my laptop sorting through a whole landslide of emails; the disconnect that I felt from my "normal/academic life" upon returning was so great that I was in some minor state of denial about the existence of classes for awhile. As a half result (– the other half being that I, unfortunately, got sick right after the trip), I ended up spending the first week of spring quarter going to classes and then sorting/editing through the 870-some pictures from the trip. I ended up with 400 some pictures in the end. =P

The 2010 spring break missions team with the HPC interns.

On-campus outreach for Easter Celebration on Sunday: Actually, I only hung out with others as they did the actual outreach as my (lack of) voice prevented me from helping. Still, it was an encouragement to see people take the initiative of reaching out to others – even those on our campus. We even met someone from another fellowship, which was incredibly cool because she helped us pass out the flyers, stating matter-of-factly, "Hey, we're all for the same goal, no?"

Trivia: this was before Maggie accidentally hit TimLin in the face with a soccer ball.

Veritas Forum, hanging out at the Rock (I didn't actually help paint) and attending the sessions: At first, I was slightly "-__-"ed by the talks because I generally like (occasional) intellectual mind-benders about faith; instead, we heard about forgiveness the first night and civility the second night – which, yes, are important issues, but not things that I had expected to hear. =P The last talk – though not intellectual – was surprisingly good and powerful as it served as a reminder to me about how and for who I was living my life. In short, living my life in response to what I've been given - gifts, resources, opportunities (or as Os Guinness succinctly put it, "Do what you are"; and finding my identity in Christ ("Living for an audience of one") – which made me wonder if I was doing so...

TASC's mini-live concert: I'm really happy that friends mentioned it and prodded me to go because, quite honestly, I don't think I would have even known about the event otherwise. Discovering Vienna Teng was definitely pretty awesome as I really enjoy how she incorporates piano into much of her music. Her lyrics are also really nice and ... poetic? I'm not sure how to describe it, but overall, her music just sounds much more wholesome than what you commonly hear these days. Not to mention, her live performances are amazing, and she uses a really nifty music looper machine that allows her to do this. For the other artists: seeing Cynthia Lin whip out a kazoo in the middle of her singing/guitar-playing was definitely pretty humoring as well; Shanghai Restoration Project, on the other hand, kind of lost me since... I don't deal well with very synthesized/processed music. =P

Vienna Teng: software engineer turned artist. I secretly aspire to be like her. =) (I wish... -__-)

A crazy bunch of birthdays!: Steven's (3/19) from last quarter, AnthonyTsao/Frank's (4/3), DKim's (4/6), Grace's (4/7), and mine (4/10).

Everything in this picture looks so nature-y – most likely because of the color scheme (and the dead bushes).

I find this too hilarious that 2 of the birthday people are ruining adding to Grace's special-day picture. =P

There's so much red/coral, yellow, and purple. The squishable's so massive / hard to hug.

[Btw, thank you to all who were involved in the card, fruit tarts, squishable snail (Vanadium, element 23 of the periodic table), or any other random gifts including t-shirts (clean monster!) and a tennis-ball recreation of my smileys!]...

Art gallery for "The Price of: Love, Freedom, and Healing": It turned out to be a wonderful idea/success, and it was incredibly awesome to see how secretly-artistic/creative many of our church members are. It was also such a blessing to see how willing people were - submitting their artwork, helping MMT set up @ 8:30am on a Sunday morning, or just bearing with our craziness overall. I really hope we can do more art galleries in the future. And, once again, thank you to the many people (MMT people as well as non-MMT people) who devoted much time to the projects, set-up, and everything else. =)

  
The crazy artworks: huge paper people with nets with fish; dangling doves made of doilies; and the sunflower completely made of post-its. =)

Women's Gathering: I always find the topics to be such good, relevant reminders about daily life. We discussed "3 things a woman wants to hear" versus "3 things a woman should hear." One group responded with, "Want-to-hear's (as gleaned from Korean dramas): (1) I love you, (2) You're pretty, and (3) You're not fat." Another amusing want-to-hear: "Chores are done!" =P I borrow from Anna's blog for the recap since she's infinitely better than me at putting thoughts into coherent words:

What we really need to hear, however, is not just "you are loved" but that "it is finished." When Jesus died for our sins, he put an end to the sin that binds us. Our identity must be found in Christ, and not in the standards of this world. That is so hard. I don't know if guys understand how much the stereotypes of the world do weigh upon women. [I'm sure guys can say the same thing for themselves, though]. The world wants us to prove ourselves through what we can achieve, things like success and beauty. But our identity isn't found in those things, but instead in Christ and what He has already done for us.

Sunrises: I've unintentionally seen 5 these past two weeks. I've never had such a crazy sleeping schedule, napping for 0.5-2 hours and then staying awake for the next 12-14 hours. I started this on Monday; by the time it was Wednesday, I was struggling to wake up from naps that felt like they'd never occurred: I had trouble falling asleep and tremendous trouble waking up. It was not a good cycle, especially since it was induced by school. Nevertheless, I'm extremely thankful that I'm finally out of it, and that my friends stuck through with me even though I was pretty delirious at times...

Sunrise on the final day. It looks a bit more like a sunset, ironically...

Hangouts with the older/senior friends: It's always really nice to spend time with older people and not be in that position of responsibility (even if it's unofficially; and this isn't to say that I don't enjoy it!).

over food...

 
as well as randomly. (Actually, I haven't seen much of my roommates lately; these are the rare occasions).

... And other things. Those things include taking used-to-be-6-but-now-5 classes, having not-too-few challenging, deeper conversations, and – perhaps most of all – learning to offer my time to others – through community, through prayer, through an earnest desire to make the most of my last quarter here as an undergraduate.

Actually, the past few weeks have established themselves as debatably the hardest weeks I've experienced yet in life, emotionally as well as physically: I lost a terrible amount of sleep [I've probably averaged 5 hrs of sleep per 24h for this quarter]; I talked a lot with people, listened a lot to people, complained several times to people (apologies to them; I have such patient friends), and even cried a few times over people (yes, I cry, what a revelation; but, hey, even Jesus cried before, too!). ... Yet, quite strangely, I've learned to enjoy every bit of it (minus the academically-incurred sleep loss and resulting half-delirious/half-confused state) because it's forced (and continually forces) me to grow. I was forced to reflect upon my priorities and motives in life, to reevaluate how much (or little) value I placed in people/community versus my own selfish wants/'needs', and, especially, to remember the love and grace I've been shown and to respond to it. There were times when it was easy to respond, "oh, sure, I gots the time, no problem!" but there were also times when it was a struggle for me to place my "need to do!" list aside and have long periods of "I have no idea what's going to happen within the next (few) hour(s)" – basically to have no agenda and just go with the flow. Outwardly, I tried to maintain a cheerful mood, but inwardly – well, it got pretty brain-achingly stressful and tiring. By the end of a particularly emotionally-exhausting/uptight week [in actuality, it was more like 3 days only], all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and shoo the stress away. Of course, it eventually did; but as soon as one stress went away, another appeared (usually in the form of school). And as such, life was repeated, week after week.

Conclusion (because it's getting awfully late, relatively): Even as the weeks furtively slip by and graduation draws nearer (AHH!), I'm continually reminded time and time again that I'm limited in my energy and ability to love and care for people. It's slightly distressing/saddening to acknowledge my limitations, but at the same time, this realization motivates me to love my friends all the more because I catch glimpses of God's limitless love in my life as it's expressed through others. The attention that's been showered upon everyone, including myself [which is still kind of foreign to me], has been crazy; and it never ceases to amaze me how much support our community provides to one another, in food, laughter, tears, prayer, and willingness to sacrifice time and energy. It's extremely inspiring and continues to challenge me to live not so much/solely for myself but for God and for others. I confess, it's still not easy for me to give my time to others when I selfishly think I can be doing "better things", i.e. spending my time much more productively doing who-knows-what, but – considering how much others have given, how much God has given to me – who wouldn't want to take to take on that challenge?

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. [1 John 4:11-12]

(Wow that was long.)

3/6 was also the HMCC Broomball Tournament. Woo! It was extremely fun as we definitely invited and met a lot of people – in fact, our team composition was exactly 50% LG members and 50% friends. As a result, we were able to cause a lot of noise and tie for 2nd/3rd place! A special thanks for Slu for basically leading the team in terms of strategizing/teaching others how to be a good goalie. And ingraining the competitive spirit into Tetris. =) [Oh yes, it was also FOCUS's first time winning an HMCC sporting event (a.k.a. H-games, Broomball); they deserved it. =P]

Tetris & friends! =) [Photo: Helen/JoyLee's camera]

Also had brunch w/ Ryan, Ian, Joey, Anna, and Parkie that day to do a belated birthday brunch for Joey's 20th birthday earlier that day (3/6). The wait was quite long (45 minutes or so), but la comida was beyond deliciosa: everyone basically stuffed themselves silly. But, I think it was worth it in the end definitely. =) [Thanks again to Ryan & Parkie for bringing us there!]

Yay, everyone looks so happy. =) [Photo: Parkie (can you find her in the window/reflection?)]

I won't recap the rest of the week. It was pretty much the same everyday with classes and then staying in the Tech/Hogan/Ford area for an indefinite amount of time. Life of an engineer. Sigh.

And finally, just wanted to say a thousand thanks to those who showed me lots of love this past week, starting w/ the Ohm care package to the Tetris LG; Anna feeding me with her packets of oatmeal and pineapple shortcake; Cece feeding me her cereal bars and Asian snacks as we lived in the various labs; Grace (as always) feeding me a hasty dinner, followed by a Plex sandwich from Leon/Jessina/Maggie; Chang with her Wheat Thins (I forgot how yummy they were!; they were demolished in less than an hour by our MMT team), fruit, soup, and chocolate (which I shared with the Missions people with whom I shopped). And also to those who gave me encouraging Bible verses (Anna, Grace, Chang), asked me how I was doing, jia_you-ed me on, etc. ... Not to mention the culmination: a surprise dinner that greeted me on Saturday night, during which I was not allowed in the kitchen before the food was served. Many =)s to Char, Chang, Grace, TimLin, Albert, Slu, Byron, Teddy, and Jason (Teddy's brother). I didn't really know how to respond, but Char found great amusement in my statement, "It's so weird to feel loved/served by others." Not that I feel unloved and such, but... people generally allow me to help when I'm being fed. I think I meant more like, "It's so weird to not be allowed to serve/help."

... Actually, that was written 3-4 days ago. I meant to post this on 3.14 (pi!), but ultimately became too busy again. Since then, I've finally finished my 4056-worded 344 lab report and 385 group paper (in which I was the only girl) and almost all of my part for the 390 report! Woo! In terms of non-nerdiness, I also (failed at) sightread(ing) accompaniment music to Slu's cello-ing today! It was fun, though trying to play on a 5-octave keyboard is rather restrictive, and my left hand kept falling off the end. (Un)fortunately, I now have various excerpts from here and there stuck in my head. I never realised my brain was so adept at absorbing little random ditties.

I've probably been inundating my brain with too much Joe Hisashi and Final Fantasy music (or just classical music) lately while studying/writing all my papers.

Random: *amidst laughter* "Medicine is the best laughter –" *a renewed wave of laugher* "– wait, laughter is the best medicine." - Char

Yesterday, I climbed at least 30 flights/levels of stairs and went down 35 (if you're like me and like to account for all aspects, the difference of 5 was because I used the elevator to go from sub-basement to 3rd in Ford). Needless to say, I felt like I spent a good portion of my time migrating from place to place. I have to be honest in saying that I thought of myself as a character in an adventure videogame as I meandered my way from the sub-basement of Ford through Tech to the 3rd floor of Hogan.

In other words, I've begun round 2 (and hopefully the final round) of "life revolves around 390." While round 1 only entailed detailing essentially every aspect of our design, round 2 consists of us actually building a prototype of the design from scratch and ensuring that it works. Our project is exceptionally wonderful since we're attempting to build a cheaper version of an existing sensor that normally costs, oh, $7000. At first, we predicted the cost for our prototype design to be around $263. As we started building the contraption, however, we realised just how many parts we were missing. We also slowly realised why it was so expensive and how inexperienced we are at working at the microscale.

To give an idea, the dimensions of our LEDs and photodetectors are all about 2x2x0.5 mm³. The optical fibers that we ordered and practiced cutting and polishing yesterday were 0.25mm in diameter. (I say 'practiced' because... we decided today that we'd try 0.5mm instead.) It's actually really cool to see how apparently clean cuts at the normal scale look really rough and uneven at the microscale. And then the surface (for the optical fibers) become smoother as you sand it first with 15um sandpaper, then 8um, then 3um, and finally 2um. And... at that point, it looks amazingly pretty and smooth (– at the microscale and above). Ahhh! Science is so cool!

On a separate, non-390, yet still rather nerdy (as I just realised) note, I had a 385 presentation today in which we talked about nanotechnology found in nature. I found a rather intriguing article [here] that contains an overview about how a plethora of organisms/things in nature have already used nanotechnology to their survival benefit, whether it's staying clean (plants and animals alike! :D) via superhydrophobicity, or scampering across smooth (Teflon excluded) surfaces via reversible/smart adhesion (woo, geckos!). To say the least, it reminded me how cool nature could be. And how cool the Creator of all that must be. =)

Random:
"In my world everybody says squeak and is happy living in pine needle houses eating siberian potatoes." - Chiarng
When asked why the house and potatoes... he responds, "because my SFCs live on pine needles and live in pine needle houses.... and my SFPP use potatoes for everything." [Key: SFC = squeaking flying catepillars; SFPP = squeaking flying... potato people(?)]

I love my friends. They're hilariously cute. =)

After (an amazingly short) Sunday Celebration: a mob full of curious, suspicion-filled people started to migrate toward the upper right corner of the room. The culmination came when Charlotte arrived at the scene; upon realization, she shrieked - multiple times - and then shed not too few tears of joy.

I'm not even sure words can really express the extent of joy that filled the room today after service today. There were so many shrieks of joy and yells of excitement at the conversion of three fellow brothers and sisters in Christ (within the past week only!) that, at one point, Anna and I looked at each other and mused, "We must be the only sane people in the room..." (yes, we were slightly exaggerating – but not by much). An added bonus: the massive invasion of people from HMCC of Ann Arbor was here to witness the entire thing. They must have been bewildered at first (especially by Charlotte's shrieks), but I hope, after they learned the context, they were pleasantly and happily surprised. =)

Four years. That's how long it took for one of the members to take that last leap of faith (or, as P. Jimmy likes to put it, "God takes 99 steps toward you; all you have to do is take that last 1 step toward Him." though, of course, that one step/leap entails a lot). Four years of earnest, persistent prayer for this one brother. He's told us many times how one of the only reasons why he kept coming back was because of our persistency. While it's definitely true that we did our parts in nagging him – sometimes in a joking but yet sincere manner – it was ultimately God who pursued him from the start and continued to pursue him when we failed. It's such a joyous and humbling experience.

If there's one thing I've been learning and witnessing lately, it's that God does answer faithful prayers: prayers prayed persistently and in expectation. :D! Praise God! =))

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope that we profess, for he who promised is faithful. [Hebrews 10:23]

Random: "Are we all particular about our pens?" / -silent agreement- / "Oh wait, we're all... multimedia."
Random x 2: "I'm trying to frown, but I just end up smiling!" - Harry

The weather must be so confused. It was spring weather-worthy last Thursday. By Sunday night, it was snowing miserable wet, slushy snow. Not that I'm complaining as I have yet to fulfill the goal of making a (Calvin & Hobbes) snowman. [I'm not sure whether it's really a goal; perhaps 'landmark' might be better. I still have no idea if I've ever built one – somewhat ironic since I've lived in the Midwest (even Minnesota at one point) my entire life].

Char's 22nd birthday was this Saturday (2/20), and instead of the usual "surprise!" @ 12am±30min, we had an entire afternoon of food and fun. The food part consisted of a ton of snacks, drinks, and desserts. The fun part involved throwing paper airplanes across the room, drawing crazy depictions of one another, playing scattergories, and then learning about Char through Charlotte Jeopardy. It was kind of insane/weird seeing college kids intently folding and throwing paper airplanes at chairs, lamps, a mini shopping cart, floor lamps, etc. in our rather (temporarily) transformed apartment (we had - and still have - posters, photos, and hand-drawn pictures of clouds (with faces)) on our ceiling). The amount of snack foods was also rather boggling, but overall – a nice break from school. =) And it was wonderful seeing so many people come out amidst the busy, never-ending midterm madness. Pictures are on Facebook.

Random quote of the entry: "Ah! Mac! Stop it!" - Anna as she tries to work on Char's computer.

Success! The same professor who deflated our self-esteem on Friday gave us a huge smile and pumped his fists in the air after our presentation today. Albeit, it wasn't good at all, and we sounded terribly drawn out and unenthusiastic about our project (something the speech coach has always told us; guess we haven't changed)... but we worked hard and saw each other every afternoon for the past three days, and it paid! He came to us afterwards and remarked that we must have worked our behinds off over the weekend. Glad he realised it; and that he approved of our work. Woo! =)

Also, forgot to update earlier: yet another birthday during the week after retreat – JoyLee, 1/23! I talked with her a whoooole lot while we were waiting for the arrival of people and cake after ACCESS. And, of course, TWang made his signature banana bread/cake. Yum, I looooove banana bread. =)

Birthday girl & Pancake-cake makers. [Photo: JaredCho]