• Does dead include the capacity to think java? (AJone)
• [Holding weird-looking sticks] 'What are these called?" "... sticks?" (APapa)
• What? You're going to teach me how to use an umbrella?
• What, are you still living in the stone age?
• What should I dot my "i" with?
• Why's it raining?
  Because the sky is sad. =(
  I'll take it from a nonpoetic way: [...] the sky soaked up too much water and now needs someplace to stick it. (AJone/sc)
• Who would win: Anakin Skywalker or Hermione Granger?

• I. am. Albert! (Angela)
• I found a cocoa puff in my drawer!
  You cooked a muffin in your drawer? (APapa/sc)
• I'm magnetically attracted to curly fries. (CGuo)
• That is one AWESOME chicken. (APapa)
• There's a spider on my desk somewhere...
  Blow blow blow! (sc/AJone)
• Did you just ask if buffalos have wings?
• Is your light talking?
• Motor... like I have cheerios in my bag.
• Yeah, the computer never took EA2.
• You feel an unexplainable spiritual bond to it that transcends all knowledge. (AJone)
• Promote literacy. Buy a box of fortune cookies today. (Fortune cookie)
• You will inherit a large sum of monkeys. (Fortune cookie)

• Add oil! = Jia you!
• mmph = milimeters per hour - the speed snails dominate in. (sc/MKim)
• The average smell weighs 760 nanograms.
• You can't spell death w/o EA.
• You can't spell slaughter without laughter.
• She kicked the turtle.
• The chipmunk scared the box.
• The stupid animal ran under the bridge.
• In short, things get worse.
• I can't even remember once feeling freaked out in your car except for the very first time... I think it was before you got your license. (EWu)
• I have to return the pan to Peter. (HPark)
• I've always wanted to poke a fat bird sitting on a branch... like, poke him in his belly. (MKim)
• I want to clobber a fish with a club.
• My head is singing. (APapa)
• I shouldn't play music. It's like a drug. (SYhee)
• There we go. I am a genius. (Brother)

• Aw, I'm so sweet. (AKim)
• Drunken water, crouching hiccup. (APapa)

• Captain hook thms! >< X(!!
• Calculmatator. Capacitator.
• F has a pint of inflection.
• Is the iceskater a cylinder?
• Remind me why I is the integral of r^2? // b/c it bends under peer pressure from the other straight letters so it becomes deformed into an r, and since an r looks shorter, they decided to have two together.
• To diff(erentiate) or not to diff - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the dy/dx and ln(x) of outrageous U's or to take [integral]s against a sea of C+'s.
• Transcendental functions: Natural logs.

• Hamlet: yo, watsup? Ophelia: nm. missin' ya. <3 (AJone)
• Hammer- (er + m) + mallet... letham?
• Polemi-cow!
• The "I" of a tiger.
• "They have this good song. It's called 'i'... They just stand there and don't play anything for 3 minutes."

• aspee (n): the state of mind in which the mind ceases to function properly, resulting in inexplicable periods of blankoutedness & unproductiveness.
• Cocaine! C₁₇H₂₁O₄N!
• Mecanesium!

• Atheist = a thesis.
• Mormon prom = prom with sleeves.
• Once upon a time, there lived a very unfriendly pencil.
• Sam turns into a road
• Friendly animals rarely say a bad word.
• A crocodile running loose in the kitchen.
• By instinct, a spider is poisonous.
• The fish wants to be burry.
• Unicorns are like horses, except they're different.
• We can sit next to each other on the platter. I'll be the appetizer to your main course.
• The ink is smearing, smudging bludgeon.
• You made me lose my yawn!
• Your green is Turkish!
• Spinach is packed with kindness and love.
• Sarcasm is essential in defeating gravity.
• God is plasma.

• 12. There is no question 12. The number 12 was busy sponsoring Sesame Street, along with the letter z.
• A camel is an example of the conservation of p.
• A smartcar is like driving your shoe.
• Ampere's|Coulomb's claw(s). Which one's sharper?
• Angular momentum of a zip disk: Iw.
• d(flux) = deflux.
• Force (centrifugal) Russia!
• Glutons! (like Newtons, but not).
• mu! mew*Fn = Fg.
• N-normous!
• He asked for a Newton, and he pushed him.
• rate of change in reality of problem.
• The heavier puddle falls up faster and so will Nemo.
• The rock is launched 1 s after the puddle. ... but how do you launch a puddle?
• The problem of uv.
• The velocity of person to the balloon, not to be confused with the velocity of peanut butter.
• Terrified fish.
• You are dumber than charge.
• What the flux?

• What are you reading? Your celery sticks?
• 'When do I play the ice cream truck song?'
  '... do you mean Turkey in the Straw?' (WZhang/orch)
• Go sing that to [You-know-who]
  the dark lord wasn't too keen about the singing. he almost used the Cruciatus curse on me (sc/AJone)
• Her nose gives her hot chicken soup.
• I'll just go and have an oil pancake now.
• I choose to torture you for my own benefit.
• Kaplut, kaploo, kablip: ways the internet dies.
• When you shut up the shell.

• An exceptionally low interest of 2 bbq sauces per week.
• And your PSAT score is... -4000 =).
• Bunnies will chemically bond to haunt me forever.
• I can make you a normal distribution!
• I was born to find tangents.
• Mr Murray is a spectator ion in my life.
• [School]/[social life] = undefined
• Swashing instrument cations form your tiedye shirt.
• There's a gerund sitting in the chair
• There was a piece of metal b/t me and the flame.
• Time is a little crunchy
• We watched the germs sprout from the soil.
• Your light assumes that the brain will travel in a straight line.

• Measuring measures! measuring measures? the measures are already measured!
• Philip the fish was a flippant fellow who never failed to figure final fluctuations in his flying fippers.
• Rabbits coughing up lemonade on rainy days...
• The funeral was sad b/c somebody killed him.
• The hermit led lives to attack settlements.
• Whatever floats your boat... provided that your boat is not leaky.

• If you were a z-score, what would you be?
• What do you get when you throw an elephant down a mine shaft? Ab minor!
• What do you yell down a mineshaft before you throw an elephant down? C# or Bb minor.
• When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!
• Where are you going, Mr. Birdie?
• Care for a chocolate shoe? (RAsher)

• A chocolate this, a chocolate that... a chocolate brain!
• Bunnies!
• Fishies!
• Foolish seedling disease!
• i am lose!
• It's like magic! It's like.. magic rub!
• Oh no! the pi was eaten by the mole!
• Polar eyes!
• Punch a shark! Punch a manatee... o.O
• Sunsets are red, the sky is blue, sunlight is polarized, and so are you!

• mikey: *chomp*
  mikey: X(
  me: ..!
  mikey: D:<
  me: don't eat me!!
  mikey: i will! X(
  me: ok! then be sure to eat me before monday morning
  mikey: X(!
  me: maybe you'll digest my bio brains
  mikey: :D
  me: even though there's not much left
  mikey: !!!!
  mikey: *excited*
  me: ew. cannibalism
  mikey: ...X(
  mikey: *cleans teeth*

• mikekim: mew * Fn = Fg
  mikekim: mew * Fc = Fg
  me: mu..
  mikekim: MEW
  mikekim: like
  mikekim: the pokemon
  mikekim: XD
  me: sigh...!
  mikekim: *dances*

• mikekim: bi my BUTT
  me: go pi yourself
  mikekim: yea well
  mikekim: the pi was already eaten
  mikekim: by the mole

• ruchi: but the paras themselves!
  ruchi: they FLOW!! [...] FLOW like WATER!!!
  ruchi: *flows down the hall* [...]
  ruchi: I'm SO hyper it's insane
  ruchi: *sends over hyperness* [...] me: some englishy brains would be nice too
  ruchi: sorry, can't spare those
  ruchi: but I'll send over a few
  ruchi: *picks out foreshadowing brains*
  ruchi: *sends foreshadowing brains to stace*
  ruchi: I don't need those anyways
  me: it sounds like we're playing go fish
  ruchi: hahaha
  ruchi: got any symbolism brains?
  me: "nope go fish!"
  ruchi: *goes fish*
  ruchi: nope, only got harry potter brains
  ruchi: your turn
  me: got any... sweaters?
  ruchi: darn, I do *gives staci 1.35 sweaters*
  ruchi: got any....errr...
  ruchi: btw, I'm suddenly feeling sleepy
  ruchi: so you've got my hyperness
  me: *sends over some ruchiness as well as an alarm clock*
  ruchi: ok, do you have any through the tunnel knowledge?
  me: *and a mauku w/a mallet*
  ruchi: oh THANK YOU!!!

• ruchi: wait, I was sorry b/c I ripped up ur OML contest to make "notecards"
  ruchi: remember? […] so you can't get extra credit for it […]
  ruchi: i'll try to tape it back 2gether
  me: seriously?
  ruchi: i'll try […]
  ruchi: actually, I'm just taping it all back together
  ruchi: b/c I fitted the pieces together!! […]
  ruchi: OH SHOOT
  ruchi: the back says stuff about suicide...
  ruchi: i forgot to the erase the pieces!

• Homework question, "What was the role of wilhelm I?"
  me: he was there just to be in place of a cheesecake that bismarck would've made king. however, since bismarck needed something of higher intelligence, he had to replace it w/a human.
  ruchi: i would definitely put a cheesecake on the throne. that way i could eat it. then i could say that it had an accident so i have to take over b/c they couldn't replace it w/another cheesecake b/c cheesecakes tend to have bad endings.

• "Our eyes' insensitivity to certain colors often springs up in nature. For example, the real color of the daytime sky is violet! The reason: Air scatters more violet light than any other tint. But violet is so poorly perceived by our eyes that blue overwhelms it. Some animals do see the violet sky." (Astronomy magazine, 03/2003)

  ruchi: how awesome is that! purple sky!
  jen: it'd be like walking around in grape juice

• me: i think i give up on physics..
  me: but then i might not get full credit..
  alicej: just scribble stuff down
  alicej: Q's and E's and r's
  me: and some U's
  me: that makes QUEER
• alice j's away: [...]
  staci: .... O.o?? go sing that to [u-know-who]
  (well, i didn't exactly tell her to go sing to Mr. Voldemort, but... hey, if she does, i'll be more than excited to see how the dark lord would react =D)
  alice: the dark lord wasnt too keen about the singing
  alice: he almost used the cruci[at]us spell on me =(

• me: i hate peeli[ng] citrus fruits.
  norman: makes yo[ur] fingers spell good though
• me: are you a good chopper [meant in reference to editing]?
  norman: Helicopter? no, i get motion sickness if I spin too much.
• me: care to give some inspiration for this silly essay of mine?
  norman: rabbits coughing lemonade on rainy days during rush hour

Hamlet enter[s] with flowers and stick them under [Ophelia's] nose.
[Hamlet:] here ophelia flowers
[Ophelia:] ouch hamlet not up my nose, have them back. *shoves them down his back* run along now, dear. stay away from me.
H: but i have to give you remembrances so i can torture you later on in the play
O: oh, don't tell me that! i want the surprise!! go go begone! *picks up watering can*
H: i'm sorry but i just haf to suck the fun out of everything. i just can't get over my depression. i enjoy wallowing in self-pity/loathing and draggin[g] others along with me
H: while failing to actively commit an act of revenge
H: conscience makes me too much of a coward
O: conscience indeed. i'll go science you! i'll steal that science and then you'll just have con! and then perhaps .. what?
H: just take the flowers woman [.] otherwise shakespeare will get angry with me[.] and the globe audience will boo
O: *picks up watering can & pours over his head* maybe i'll water some sense into you [...] osmosis it
H: oh, no! my hair! my costume! my too sullied flesh (still not clean)! now i'm even more depressed. it's your own fault that i deny loving you now
O: so be it! have some dirt! *throws dirt* fertilizer! *cow poop* perhaps you'll be fruitful now! *runs off*
H: oh woe be with me. that fair beauty has fertilized me. i shall haf to make it up to her by writing her a corny letter. maybe a sonnet? sonnets aplenty. shall i compare thee to a summer's day ...
H: wait thats not depressing enough
H: my mistresses breath re[e]ks, her face is ugly, her hair looks like worms. but i still love her
H: there, better[.]
H: now i can get Ophelia in trouble with Polly, and revenge will be mine
me: [...] off i go. g'night.
C'lotte: nightie
me: *ophelia calls from faraway* faretheewell *throws rotten egg*
C'lotte: *SHPLAT*
C'lotte: charlotte: ewwwwwwwwww
me: ah sorry.
C'lotte: hahaha
me: =P
C'lotte: its all good
C'lotte: i haf febreze
C'lotte: ;-)
me: cool bbye

Don't you always hate it
When you're told to write a poem,
Or a paper, or a speech
That demands a certain length?
I deem it as quite useless
To make the students write
A certain sum of pages,
Or of lines, or of words.
After all, one person may
Take four pages
While another
Takes one page.
And in these two like speeches,
Or two papers, or two poems,
The same point is shown,
But just at different lengths.
Thus, you see that this condition,
This requirement it does make,
Some students go quite crazy
While others somewhat lazy.
So here I am to tell you
What a useless poem this is,
That I've wasted two whole hours
And one perfect piece of paper.